To Bear or Not to Bear: A Personal Meditation on the Label (Op-Ed)

Written by Eric L. Irby

Depending on who you ask, everyone’s interpretation of what exactly “a bear” is differs; the only men who seem not to be confused are questionably the men who fit the mold unquestioned: (mostly) white, hairy (sometimes), older (most times) with a beefy build.

Whatever man that comes to mind when you think of the term, most of the times, isn’t a Black or Brown man; historically we haven’t been included in the “bear talk” unless we insert ourselves. But that also leads to my next question: Should we want to be included?

The origin of the term is unclear; some sources claim it originated in 1987, with the founding of Bear Magazine. According to Out, it was an article written in The Advocate in 1997, #TBT: When The Advocate Invented Bears; where it was first popularized. Either way, from otters to bears, it goes without saying men of color, especially Black and Brown men, were never considered whilst creating the queer anthropomorphic pantheon.

Despite the fact the people who were advocating for all queer rights were majority of color and trans experience, (s/o to Marsha and Sylvia Rivera) the permeance of racial oppression easily not only invaded the entirety of queer culture but ultimately colonized our ideas of what’s considered desirable.

But the irony is, even though that label was created to be “ideally” a more inclusive way to battle rigid standards e.g. still white, thin, (almost always) hairless, young, attractive etc., and reclaim their power through building community; the oppressed quickly became the oppressor.

I mean how many times have we been in predominately Black spaces and went looking for a place where other Black plus sized guys hang out, only to be directed to a bear bar or leather bar; and you’re “lucky” if you come on urban night or whatever theme that signals inclusion.

There’s also the very understandable reaction to people of color not wanting to liken themselves to animals; there’s a long history with that and I just think a reexamination, or a reclamation needs to happen; maybe we need our own term…

I will say, while starting this brand, this has been something that I’ve wrestled with ironically; my personal inclinations versus the community’s. When I posted a poll asking for the followers’ opinions on their preference of the term, surprisingly it was positive with 69%. It made me stop to think about if my relationship with the term was stemming from a place of previous dysmorphia, social conscious or just plain ole personal preference.

One of my favorite things about this community is that you all not only bring things to my attention, but you also challenge me to think or in this case challenge myself; and I’ll be honest, I’m still wrestling with the term on a personal level, but I guess I’ll cringe less when a guy compliments me and calls me a “teddy bear.”

Also, here’s a link from “Bear World Magazine” contributing writer, Taylor Moore that I think provides a different take that would be appreciated: I’m Black…Can I Call Myself a Bear? – Bear World Magazine