Written by Eric L. Irby
Meet one the brand’s favorite new couples to grace our IG feeds: Ben and Da’Quan; ever since their first post, I have been admiring from afar how earnest and thoughtful they are to each other via social media. So of course I had to interview them:
Can you share the story of how you met your partner?
Da’Quan: Love has a way of finding you when you least expect it. For us, it all started with an Instagram story. One of my fraternity brothers shared a handcrafted Greek paddle from Blu Theory Customs, a business owned by Benjamin. Intrigued by the craftsmanship, I clicked on the page and admired his work. I also found myself lingering on his personal profile. I thought he was cute, so I hit the follow button.
Then something unexpected happened. Ben must have noticed because, within minutes, he liked ten of my posts in a row. I took it as a sign. But here’s the twist. I slid into his DMs, he responded, and I left him on read for days. To this day, he still teases me about it.
God wasn’t done with us yet. On Veterans Day morning, Ben replied to one of my Instagram stories. Just like that, we started talking. What began as casual messages turned into hours of conversation. We texted, called, and FaceTimed for a total of six hours that day. It felt effortless, like we had known each other forever. The only catch was that he lived in Charlotte, North Carolina, and I lived in Richmond, Virginia.
That weekend, I was scheduled to be in Charlotte for a board meeting, so I asked him out for Sunday. My dating coach, Prince Amari, always suggested to get offline and in person as soon as possible. I wanted to heed that advice. Then my board meeting got canceled. By then, I knew I couldn’t let this moment slip away. I still used my American Airlines points and booked my flight because some things in life are worth the effort.
When we finally met in person, it was magic. There were no awkward pauses or hesitation, just an undeniable connection. We laughed and talked, and by the end of the night, I knew I wanted more than just another date. I asked him to be my boyfriend. We skipped the talking stage and committed to building a real, intentional relationship.
That night marked the beginning of something beautiful. From a simple Instagram story to a love story still unfolding, we are grateful every day for the moment fate and a few strategic Instagram likes brought us together.
Ben: I would like to co-sign everything, I can’t explain it any better!
What was your first impression of them, and how did your connection grow over time?
Ben: Honestly, I lurked a bit on his Instagram page, looking through his photos and I kept thinking to myself “He’s really handsome and there’s something intriguing about him.” As he mentioned, I did what any sensible person would do and I liked a ton of his photos.
The day that we exchanged numbers, there was an electric energy in the air. We really hit it off instantly, that first conversation with him really felt like it wasn’t ever meant to end. The connection was so instant and felt so natural.
I was glad that despite our distance, he made a lot of effort to connect with me in person. It allowed us to both feel those sparks fly in person and it gave me the opportunity to confirm that he was indeed someone that I needed in my life!
Da’Quan: When I first saw Ben, I thought, damn, he fine, but what really caught my attention was his mindset. He’s business-savvy, driven, and about his craft, which I respect. But beyond all that, he’s kind, honest, and has a good heart. That stood out to me the most.
As time went on, our connection grew in ways I didn’t even expect. We built something solid on mutual respect, trust, and the ability to be completely honest with each other. There’s never been a need to hold back or put on a front. With Ben, I can be my full, unfiltered self, and that’s rare. He creates a space where I feel safe to be vulnerable, and that’s the kind of love I’ve always wanted.
How has being a plus-size queer Black man shaped your experiences in love and dating?
Ben: It’s definitely been something in the back of my mind while navigating dating. I’ve previously struggled to find my footing and feel confident dating as a big guy.
Whether it was being on the dating apps, being on social media or in social spaces, I have been hyper aware of my size, often feeling looked over for battling my insecurities.
Over the last two years, I’ve gone through a metamorphosis of sorts, finally learning to love the skin that I am in and taking more pride in my body image. It absolutely helps having found a man that loves me unconditionally.
Da’Quan: While I don’t personally consider myself plus-size, I have experienced body shaming, especially in Black gay spaces. There have been times when I felt uncomfortable or like I didn’t fit into the rigid beauty standards that exist in our community. Black gay culture often places a strong emphasis on a specific look, favoring lean and muscular bodies. When you don’t fit that mold, it can be isolating.
Over the years, I have worked hard to love myself fully, not just for how I look but for who I am. That journey has not always been easy, but having a partner like Ben has been a blessing. He loves me as I am, just as I love him. Our relationship is built on mutual affirmation, respect, and appreciation for each other. Neither of us feels the need to change to fit someone else’s expectations. Instead, we have created a space where we both feel seen, valued, and secure.
Loving yourself in a world that often tells you to be something else is powerful. Having a partner who reinforces that love makes it even better.
How do you and your partner navigate communication and intimacy?
Ben: One thing I’ve come to value is making sure he’s the first and last person I speak to each day. I didn’t know that was something that I craved and to have it now? It’s so beautiful.
Da’Quan: Our relationship is built on vulnerability and trust. We believe in open and honest communication, and we never go to sleep angry with each other. Boundaries are important to us, so we discuss them openly and make sure we respect each other’s needs.
Ben: I just want to be transparent and share that recently, we’d ended a conversation on the phone and it honestly left me feeling unsettled. I was so exhausted that I just went to sleep and in that moment, I ended up going to sleep with the unresolved conflict in my heart.
The next day was off for us both and after talking it out later that evening, I acknowledged how leaving something unresolved at the end of the day impacted our communication that day. It was eye opening and I learned to leave no conflict unresolved at the end of the day.
Da’Quan: Being in a long-distance relationship requires extra effort, and we make it work by staying connected every single day. We talk and text daily and have never gone a day without speaking since we met. In addition to our daily conversations, we have bi-weekly planning meetings to coordinate our schedules, plan trips, and make sure we are prioritizing time together.
Intimacy for us is about presence. We have made a commitment to seeing each other as often as possible. As a small business owner, I have more flexibility with travel, so I take advantage of every opportunity to be with Ben. No matter the distance, we make sure our relationship stays strong by showing up for each other in every way that matters.
What lessons have you learned about love that you wish you knew earlier?
Ben: I’m actively learning how to receive the love I’ve always wanted. I wish I knew earlier that I could ask to be considered.
I used to always tell people that I wasn’t impressed by words and my boyfriend has changed that for me. Da’Quan has helped me recognize the power and security that comes from receiving words of affirmation and inspires me to always be transparent and authentic in what I’m feeling with him.
Da’Quan: Prince Amari always said that love should be easy. I never truly understood what that meant until I met Ben. From the very beginning, everything just flowed. On the first day we connected, we talked on the phone for six hours straight. Loving Ben feels like finally finding a missing puzzle piece. There’s no forcing, no second-guessing, just a natural, effortless connection that makes everything feel right.
Another lesson I’ve learned is that healthy relationships with strong communication do exist. After our first big disagreement, we were both surprised at how well we handled it. We listened to each other, gave grace, and worked through the issue without hostility or shutting down. It was a reminder that love isn’t about avoiding challenges but about having the tools and the willingness to navigate them together.
I know there will be more challenges ahead, but our growth mindset and shared commitments give me confidence that we’ll always find our way to love.
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